Black and blue, god vs man, day vs night! The long awaited gladiator match is here! Batman V. Superman Dawn of Justice. I went to see Batman V. Superman on March 31st with a few friends who were as hyped for the film as I was. After seeing it, they all said that they really enjoyed the movie. But me being the analytical person that I am, I didn’t think it was all that great. I could actually think of a few superhero movies off the top of my head that are leaps and bounds better than Dawn of Justice. Honestly, I would love to the end the review here. You know, to spare all the fanboys who love this film oh so much. However, you’re probably dying to know why I feel the way I do. So sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, and watch me rip apart this film.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE AND DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT. THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!

Batman V. Superman Dawn of Justice takes place about 2 years after the events of Man of Steel. Many people see Superman as a hero or some god-like figure. But there are two sides to every coin. There are people who see him as a threat. One of them being Batman. So Batman decides to take matters into his own hands by trying to subdue Superman before he becomes a threat to humanity.

Now right off the bat (pun totally intended) I can see a problem with the movie. The actual name of it! I mean Batman V. Superman Dawn of Justice is a mouth full of words to say. I could think of a few names that are better:

1. Batman Vs Superman
2. Dawn of Justice
3. World’s Finest
4. Man of Steel 2: Dark Knight Boogaloo

Another problem with the title is that it’s kind of misleading. I mean Batman and Superman do fight in the movie. But Bats and Supes fight only once, and it lasts for only five minutes. Don’t get me wrong; the fight scene looked fantastic. Yet the fight wasn’t the main focus of the movie. And you’d think that it would be the main focus when almost every single trailer, poster, or advertisement for the film shows Batman and Superman fighting. The movie is LITERALLY called Batman V. Superman Dawn of Justice. But in movie Batman and Superman don’t really seem like rivals. The two barely ever interact with each other until the third act of the film. They do meet each other once in the first act as Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. And in that scene, I could feel some tension between the two. But they’re cut off mid conversation by Lex Luthor who is possibly the worst part of this film (we’ll get to him later). Anyway, like I said before, the fight between Bats and Supes only lasted for about five minutes. Plus Superman didn’t even want to fight Batman. The only reason he did it was because he was forced to in order to save his mother. I would’ve liked to see Batman and Superman fight because they legitimately hate each other. Not because they’re just forced to.

Batman’s plan for how he was going to beat Superman wasn’t that well thought out. He let’s Superman punch him around a little bit. He activates kryptonite bombs so that he can get some punches in. Batman and Superman throw each other around for a bit. Then Batman lures Superman to a building and while Superman is down, he points a kryptonite spear over his chest ready to kill him. If he had the kryptonite bombs and a kryptonite spear the entire time, why didn’t he just do this:

1. Lure Superman to a building.
2. Have a bunch of kryptonite bombs go off once Superman arrives.
3. While Superman is down, kill him with the spear.

If Batman really wanted Superman dead that badly, he could’ve just easily done that. The fight would’ve lasted for barely a minute. I mean don’t get me wrong, the fight looks awesome. But it could’ve been way shorter.

Towards the end of the fight, Batman is about to kill Superman with the kryptonite spear when all of a sudden Superman says “Save Martha”. Batman gets mad and asks why he said that name. Lois Lane then comes in and explains that Martha is the name of Superman’s mother. Martha just also happens to be the name of Batman’s mother. And since Batman’s parents were killed, he shows sympathy and decides to help Superman save his mother. Now this pisses me off because this scene basically implies that if Batman just listened to Superman and talked out their differences, THEY WOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! Superman even offers to end the fight and talk it out! He literally says: “Stay down, if I wanted it you’d be dead already.”

Wonder Woman was also in this movie but it didn’t really seem like she played that big of a role. So basically in the movie Wonder Woman needed to steal some hard drive from Lex Luthor because it showed videos and pictures of not only her; but the Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman. First of all, how did she even know Lex had the hard drive? And secondly, why wouldn’t she want Lex to know about her and the other superheroes? I mean I get that Lex Luthor is evil but what would he exactly do with that information? Besides that, the only significant thing that she did in the film was fight Doomsday. So the entire Wonder Woman subplot seems a bit out of place. But hey, if Wonder Woman wasn’t in the movie every single feminist on the internet would’ve probably lost it.

Now let’s talk about Lex Luthor. Honestly, he was the absolute worst part of the movie. For starters, they casted Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. I mean sure Jesse is a good actor. But when I see Jesse, I picture Mark Zuckerberg; not an evil genius. If anything he would’ve made a decent Joker or Riddler. Lex Luthor in this movie was just a socially awkward and quirky mess. Which is everything Lex Luthor shouldn’t be. Secondly, his plan makes almost zero sense. Basically, his plan was to get Batman and Superman to fight so that Superman would get killed. But what’s the reason for it? One could assume that he thinks Superman is a threat to humanity and just wants to protect people. However, based on how Lex acts, he doesn’t really seem to be afraid  of Superman. Nor does he seem intrested in protecting anyone. He just comes off as a sociopathic creep who’s only intrested in advancing his own selfish desires. But let’s just pretend that was his plan from the start. The question I have is, why did he create Doomsday (If you don’t know who Doomsday is, Doomsday is that giant monster that Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman fight in the end)?  I mean Doomsday could’ve been a fail safe in case Batman didn’t kill Superman. But what would’ve he done with Doomsday if Batman did kill Superman as intended? What would he do with Doomsday then? Doomsday is just completely shoehorned into the movie.

And speaking of Doomsday, his fight with Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman could’ve ended completely differently if they just used common sense. Superman and Batman could’ve held Doomsday off while Wonder Woman used the kryptonite spear to stab Doomsday from behind. By doing this, you could’ve shown the 3 heroes actually working like a team. Which in turn would set up for a Justice League movie. But no, throughout the entire fight, there is almost no communication and everyone just does their own thing. You can talk trash about The Avengers for all I care but at least they actually acted like a team.

At the end of the movie, Superman ends up dying along with Doomsday. Honestly, his death didn’t hold any weight to it because you only knew this character for about two movies. You have to grow with a character before you can actually care about them. Plus killing him off is complete pointless because we know there’s going to be a Justice League movie.  And you can’t have a Justice League movie without Superman. Plus leaked photos have come out showing Superman being in the Justice League.  Also, at the end of the movie it shows dirt rising off of Superman’s coffin. So it’s practically confirmed he’s coming back. But the one thing that gets me the most is the fact that Batman acts like he was a good friend of Superman when he’s at Superman’s funeral. I mean he tried killing the guy and the only reason he didn’t go through with it was because their mothers have the same name!

In the end, Batman v. Superman Dawn of Justice is just one big mess. The movie constantly referenced stories such as The Death of Superman. The story itself or lack thereof is completely incoherent. It just seemed like I was watching a bunch of scenes that were very loosely tied together. Lex Luthor was horrible, and Doomsday and Wonder Woman had almost no reason for being there.  But I must admit that Ben Affleck pulled off a pretty good preformence and the soundtrack and visules weren’t all that bad. So I recommend Batman v. Superman to the average movie goer who probably won’t put that much thought into the movie. Because that’s all this film is; mindless entertainment. If you’re a comic book fan, you’ll probably have a hard time watching the movie.